zee's old-ass CAPTION GALLERIES go back to the new shit

specialty galleries Sometimes you feel like a theme 02.05.08 Howard the Duck! Our second trip into the deep, dank waters of Howard the Duck introduces us to a very unappealing Tim Robbins and the theory of duckvolution, then takes us through a typical Richard Edsen cameo right into the now-legendary Lea Thompson/Dwarf in Animatronic Rubber Duck Suit love scene. When child-porn enthusiast Jeffrey Jones shows up it's almost a relief. Almost. page 1081: *mechanized ape starts flinging mechanized crap* page 1082: "You humans and your gross mammary glands." page 1083: "She's about to taste some duck sauce, without being anywhere near a Chinese restaurant." 01.31.08 TheDiva: *Spider-man shoves him off roof, poses in his place* Okay Dokey, Pig in a Pokey, here's the grand finale of Disney's The Rocketeer. When we last left our "hero" Cliff he was flailing around under a decorative net. Can he scrape together any dignity to fight off Nazi Timothy Dalton AND save the Pillowy Jennifer Connolly? (SPOILER: Yes.) Read on and find out! page 1079: "I may not make an honest buck, but I ain't no Cobra sympathizer. Yo Joe!" *machine guns* page 1080: The Stepfather: now with 30% more oily smarm! 01.27.08 THE RETURN OF.... THE ROCKETEER! Actually... there's actually only one shot of The Rocketeer in action, and he's taken down by a friggin' net. The rest of the 'grabs are just cleavage and Timothy Dalton. page 1075: "Well, I hope nobody takes advantage of me while I'm lying on this soft bed clothed with silken sheets, the heat from the fireplace warm on my skin, my panties carelessly forgotten when I dressed this morning..." 01.26.08 How about a couple of mind-blowing Howard the Duck captions!? page 1073: "Wait a minute. How that duck breathin' in space?" page 1074: "Hello, Auschwitz! Are you ready to ROCK?!" ... I mean come on! The duck's flyin' through space! 01.25.08 We get back to Hogwarts just in time for the big Yule ball, which they left in the movie despite leaving out all the plot points from the sequence. Weird. Then we're thrown violently into the next trial of the Triwizard Tournament, where Harry must rescue almost-lifelike dummies representing his friends. Featuring appearances by Moaning Myrtle (Shirley Henderson from Doctor Who: Love & Monsters) and captions by AlexGariepy, Arkham Guard, cajunmagic, ChaosWolf1982, Coakley, Cyberbeast, TheDiva, Enapov, gleeb, GlitterRock, GodoHell, Granamyr1, Indomitus, JMShearer, JohnSteed, jondapicam, kilroy105, LauraPowers85. leapetra, TheLurker, Shadarus, tinaw, YibbleGuy, and me, Zee. page 1064: "Herm-own-ninny, you is to be looking... how is that your English say...? ...your bewbies are most bouyant and will feed many children!" page 1065: "I told Viktor not to get any in my hair! Is it alright?" page 1066: "Gimme a break, seaweed DOESN'T make you high!" 01.21.08 The Rocketeer Here's a bunch of pages for the crap-tastic nineties comic book movie The Rocketeer, starring Academy Award Winner Jennifer Connelly, Academy Award Winner Alan Arkin, Former Bond Has-Been Timothy Dalton, The Stepfather as Howard Huges, a Rondo Hatten look-alike, and that international star of stage and screen, Bill Campbell! Wow! A shared Gaudy Gold Star Gif to AlexGariepy and TheDiva who captioned almost every picture in the gallery and brilliantly... And there are a ton more of such captions where these came from. Stay Tuned... page 1058: "The Feckless Peep" page 1059: "Threepio's going postal. Run!" page 1060: "Hey, kid, you wanna try out this cherry-flavored butt plug?" page 1061: "Woah, man, you should, like, totally smell this flower..." page 1062: "How White Castle burgers are really made!" page 1063: "That'll keep your Optimus Prime going as far as Fresno but yer gonna have to get him looked at." 01.17.08 more harry potter & the goblet of fire In this exciting installment of the hit fantasy series, Harry and the gang prepare for the upcoming dance and.... that's about it. Oh, wait- I think there's a brief subplot about a dragon or some such nonsense, but really, lighthearted vignettes about school dances! That's where it's at! page 1051: "Randy Quaid needed very little makeup for this role." page 1052: "Harry Potter and the Giant Turd Of Fire" page 1053: "Cho Chang, and Sho Nuff." 01.15.08 Here's a first- a Specialty Gallery derived from hipsoda's caption crack! It's a little movie called The Shining and even though I already have galleries from when we capped it over at GlitterRock's place these captions (by Beckett, cambria36, CaveDweller, Loodvig, TyranosaurisRex, and WB) were so fucking funny they warranted their own gallery. Read 'em and weep! page 1048: "So.... why orange?" page 1049: "Hello? Is this "We Be Hookers"?" page 1050: Firemen get pissed off when everyone doesn't refer to them as being a "hero". 01.11.08 harry potter and the goblet of fire (part 1) The "Goblet of Fire" pages got so numerous that I'm chopping them into seperate updates. Here Harry has a bad dweam, we visit the Quidditch world cup, and then we meet Mad-Eye Moody and the competitors for The Triwizard Tournament. A Gaudy Gold Star Gif goes to GlitterRock, Enapov, and ArkhamGuard for their "Dumbledore gay joke" trifecta on the top of page Page 1042. Correct me if I'm wrong but the news that Dumbledore was a friend of Dorothy hadn't come out yet when we capped this. When it came to Dumbledore I focused on how bad and incongruous Michael Gambon's performance was in this movie. page 1039: "So... did each book start with "IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT", or did the movie guys do that on their own?" page 1040: Harry Potter and The Trip To Dagobah page 1041: Harry Potter and the Convienient Cast Change page 1042: "I'd like to introduce you to the new defense of the black arts professor: Hitler!" page 1043: "And if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of doom being sealed." page 1044: "I love this Orwellian future." 12.31.07 LIVE! FROM NEW YORK! IT'S How many pounds of drugs went into the production of this comic? In this exciting adventure scanned & presented by our own lovable supervillain GLITTER ROCK, Stan Lee gets to host Saturday Night Live and Peter Parker and Mary-Jane have tickets! But when THE SILVER SAMURAI wants a ring stuck on John Belushi's finger all heck breaks loose and SPIDER-MAN has to spring into action, teaming up with the entire 1978 cast of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!! I guess you got all that from the cover there. Even Stan's fellow gloryhog Lorne Michaels is in this! Chevy Chase must've been kicking himself for leaving before this was made! The Silver Samurai makes a lot of vague threats, doesn't really do anything, then (SPOILER ALERT!) WINS!? And the ring lets him travel through time but he doesn't have time to kill anybody (?) so he just leaves. Um, hooray? As always, the cappers admirably rip this terrible idea-made-flesh a new coke-hole. page 1030: "I may need to double check but I think he just said 'bushy pubes village' in Chinese." page 1031: "Isn't this the equivalent of having God come to host SNL in our universe? I'm just sayin'..." page 1032: "She's got Meg Fosterism!" page 1033: "Ah-HA! The seventies! A lockdown in Marvel-dating!" page 1034: "you know what SHUT THE HELL UP SPIDERMAN!!!" page 1035: "Ew! That's Spidey's droppings!" 12.24.07 daniel craig is james bond 007 in ian fleming's CASINO ROYALE "oh...what a dull name!" -KKDW Celebrate Christmas with these five pages devoted to Casino Royale, a movie I haven't seen because it looks really, really boring. Closer inspection of these screengrabs reveals the film is actually a feature-length commercial for the Sony Ericsson. This gallery's Gaudy Gold Star Gif goes to jackrouters for fully exploiting the comic potential of James Bond's electrocuted testicles on the top of page 1026 (and also for the creation of Afriman)! There were no Gaudy Gold Star Gifs in the last couple of updates because... I forgot. PAGE 1022: Ian Fleming's "Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk" PAGE 1023: "No, sir, I only sleep with attractive Bonds." PAGE 1024: "So, before he was Sean Connery, he was Deflated Michael J. Pollard?" PAGE 1025: "So we all stand around while Bond plays poker with the bad guys?" PAGE 1026: "A tender-hearted romance in a Bond movie? Yes, I'm sure this will end well!" 12.22.07 doctor who: "shark bait" If you're a fan of horrible comics, here's one of those nightmarish "Doctor Who" comics in it's entirety.... almost- There are a few panels not saved here and there, but it's not like the story makes any less sense without them. These things are like fever dreams, where nothing logically connects to anything else and the characters do and say irrational and illogical things, while getting in and of situations seemingly concocted by retarded children. Enjoy. PAGE 1019: "The most talked about action movie star of our day... CRAB!" PAGE 1020: "We'll eat your brains while your still conscious and make butter from your fat!" PAGE 1021: "Realizing her fate lies in John's hands, Gillian prepares her soul for eternity." 12.14.07 Francis Ford Coppola's DRACULA From the mixed up files of Francis Ford Coppola comes this entertaining if goofy-ass version of Bram Stoker's immortal tale, comprised of roughly 75% shots of people reading things. PAGE 1010: Ralph Bashki's "Dracula" PAGE 1011: Mandy Patinkin IN "Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Old Jewish Dracula" PAGE 1012: "Wow. Someone actually fighting over Keanu Reeves!" PAGE 1013: "Oh no! Dracula's going to turn into the Green Goblin!" PAGE 1014: "Huuuuuuuuuuuug meeeeeeee!" PAGE 1015: "Being eaten by boars is kinda' turning me on. Whoda' thunk it?" 12.10.07 1000 CAPTION GALLERIES!? Wow.... 1000 Caption Galleries. This is getting a little out of hand. To celebrate this milestone in my pathetic existence I've put together ten "Best of" pages... "Best of" isn't really accurate, since every page on my gallery is a "Best of". These are merely a random sampling of the creative genius of the cappers, organized by theme. Our official 1000th page is a salute to the Art of the Facial Cumshot. Facial Cumshots... Angels to some, devils to others. Explorers in the further regions of experience really dig 'em. Enjoy. Back when I hit my 100th caption gallery, I thought that was an absurd number of caption galleries to have made, and to celebrate I made a weed-centric page. Now that I have ten times as many galleries I revisited that topic so close to my heart, The Topic of Marijuana, so pack up a bowl and puff, puff, and pass these HIGHlarious captions.... Then onto Stuff From "Star Wars", as mocking George Lucas's various faults and failures is a staple of the capping world. And we couldn't give airtime to Star Wars without including it's bitter rival, Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry's demonic offspring that grows two spin-offs for every head you cut off. Continuing in this nerdy vein, here's A Salute to the Art of Superheroing... and who is more of a super-hero than our own Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Not me, that's for damn sure... Now that we've entered the world of horror, here's a page of Freddy Kreuger Caps. I promise, when I get to 2000 pages I'll have an equally exquisite Jason tribute. And hey, speaking of tributes (well, we were), here's a "tribute" to Vlad III the Impaler, aka DRACULA!... Then.... Uh..... How about.... um.... Another Star Wars Page? Yeah, that's the ticket. Finally, we wrap up with a salute to the show that started it all, Mystery Science Theater 3000... But rather than a page of MST3K caps, here's a page of caps about MST3K. This last page may be my favorite caption gallery of all time... or not. Whatever. Special thanks goes to all the cappers, you know who you are... But just in case you don't, just remember: You're You. 12.04.07 Friday the 13th Part 2 Here's four pages devoted to Friday the 13th Part 2, the movie where Jason went on a killing spree to avenge the death of his mother, who you may remember died avenging the death of Jason. Hmmm. This movie isn't very good, and the cappers gave it the drubbing it so richly deserved. This update's winner of the Special Gaudy Gold Star Gif (SGGSG) is Dante83, whose every cap in this gallery made me convulse with "The Chuckles" (as the kids say). PAGE 993: "Night of the Living Cast of Mama's Family" PAGE 994: "Here's some meatloaf I thought you'd like..." PAGE 995: "The Wonder Years: Nights" PAGE 996: "So... not getting laid tonight. Fair 'nuf!" 11.25.07 the gingerdead man A little while back, around, I think, Fonz and the Happy Days Gang in "King For A Day", I started putting the images in the specialty galleries in order. Before this, I had mixed all the Jpegs up in a hat and pulled them out at random. I think being in order makes the pages roughly 495% better. You can play the movie and read the pages along with it, and the results are as good if not better than anything the MST3K guys put out (especially if it's written by Jim Mallon). This movie is a perfect example of somehing "clicking" and producing something like our own TV script, featuring a lot of great riffing (like the Newell Alexander bit started by GodoHell on page 986), dialog-type wordplay between the capper, and a Special Gaudy Gold Star Gif to your American friend Matteus, who really cracks me up. The movie is a subpar (even for Full Moon) DTV suckfest starring Gary Busey who is killed in the first 3 minutes and brought back as an ugly talking Ginger, er, dead man. Torn straight from today's headlines. PAGE 982: "It's a play on words, see?" PAGE 983: "...don't mess with his gumdrop buttons." PAGE 984: "draw, no wait I'm..... gay!" PAGE 985: "Meaningless-Gingerdead Man-actor, if you were in a German scheisse video, y-you'd tell me, right?" PAGE 986: "shakes, squirts, headaches... is this a hangover or a Gary Busey movie? we may never know" 11.19.07 Johnnie Hill IS Suddenly, "Lady Cocoa" seems a whole lot better. PAGE 976: "Unpopular porn-star 'Wee' Willie Winkie" PAGE 977: "Next up on True Blaxploitation Mating Rituals." 11.09.07 Lola Falana IS She may be called Cocoa but she's got that peanut butter pussy... Brown, smooth, and easy to spread! PAGE 967: "Tell me more about this so-called 'fisting.'" PAGE 968: Gives a new meaning to "smothered in chocolate". 11.02.07 pirates of the caribbean: dead man's chest If you're looking for substandard, watered-down, over-rated entertainment, look no further than this sequel to a movie based on a DisneyLand ride. Johnny Depp is back, slumming as Captain Jack Sparrow, and all your favorite characters from the first movie return, like Gibbs and Jack Davenport! (who?) Here's four pages of captions ripping this flick a new porthole. PAGE 960: "Pinapples and papayas are what we eat!" PAGE 961: "The Thermos is safe! Coffee for EVERYBODY!" PAGE 962: "Once you go tentacle you never repent-acle!" PAGE 963: "Call me now, babies. The cards never lie." 10.19.07 The sequel to Waxwork was far inferior to the original (which was hard to pull off, I mean, the fucking movie starred Zach Galligan). This movie doesn't even have any waxworks in it, although you do get to see the kid from Gremlins don a bunch of bad wigs as he is "lost" in "time". Deborah Foreman does not return for the sequel- From reading between the lines in various Fangoria and Starlog interviews, this was because she was, er, "fucking the director" but after the first movie they "stopped fucking". I can't blame her, how could you resist the attentions of the auteur that gifted the world with Warlock: The Armageddon and Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat. Anway, because of the lack of director-fucking Forman is replaced by the less-famous but equally untalented  Monika Schnarre, and is joined by such luminaries as Drew Barrymore, Marina Sirtis, David Carradine, and George "Buck" Flower in this stinkburger. PAGE 949: "What are you going to do, arrest us for doing our civic duty?" PAGE 950: "Patrick Swayze you're under arrest for impersonating a woman!" 10.07.07 One of the neato things about capping, especially at GlitterRock's page, is the over-abundace of really, really, awfully hot women. That became evident as I was saving captions for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Tomb Raider, The Price is Right, and Wonder Woman and I ended up with a page of all hot chicks. Then I got to Poorman's Bikini Beach and ended up with even more babes. Finding those two pages, er, stimulating, I went ahead and added two more pages of sexiness from caption galleries past. There are women I like (Kerry Washington, Adrianne Frost, Jane Badler), some women I don't (Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, Angelina Jolie), and the inimitable Vivian Schilling.  A celebration of the wonders and strength of women? Or a pathetic excuse to cap with one hand and spank with the other? Find out in these Galleries With Just Hot Chicks! PAGE ONE  "How to Argue With Women" PAGE TWO "HULK HOGAN TOYOTA" PAGE THREE "That is one fine looking lizard women visitor thing!" PAGE FOUR "Sluttaria, Frigidicus, and Virginista." 09.28.07 PHOBIAS Apparantly we captioned this horror movie, "Phobias". In fact, not only did we caption it, I went through the captions and made these two pages of "The Best Of Phobias". Yet I have no recollection of any of this. It's presented by cajunmagic, and here's what he had to say about it: "two, two, two movies in one. First, a man finds it hard to tell if his nightmares are dreams or real. Will he wake in time? Will he be able to act? Do you care? Second, a desperate wife stuck in a dead-end marriage offs her fucker of a husband in self-defense during a blackout. She befriends an idiot songwriter, who's mentally about 12 (he likes to play pranks). Together, will they discover the ability to act?" So, that's your movie, there you go. PAGE 932: "this guy must be like the undead McGuyver" PAGE 933:  "this movie has an Artpig-like camera quality" 09.12.07 the SUPERFRIENDS in "Attack of the Vampire" Please, enjoy these three pages devoted to this award-winning (okay, not really) episode of the Superfriends cartoon in which they go up against DRACULA! You'd think that just by being Dracula he'd warrant top billing rather than being referred to as "The Vampire", but who am I to question the geniuses behind this series? Somehow that idiot Superman gets himself vampirized. Wackiness ensues. PAGE 919: "Don't pretend to be all butch, Robin. It's a major turn-off." PAGE 920: "Fortunately, he has super-bukkake powers." PAGE 921: "Emo Superman... how's he gonna cut himself when he's the Man of Steel?" 08.27.07 two new pages! First up, from GersonK's Inventing Situations, cums Abbot and/or Costello in Jack and the Beanstalk, capped by cappers: E_the_E, GersonK, GizM, Shanky1, Unreality, Tyranosauris Rex. Then from GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board comes Colin Baker as The Doctor and.... ugh.... Alexei Sayle in Revelation of the Daleks, and that was capped by... hang on, my notes just fell behind the desk.... they're wedged between the desk and the file cabinet... oh god.... let me just... maybe I can pry them out with this ruler.... no, now the ruler's stuck.... now the ruler has snapped off .... I can just almost reach... okay, I've torn it in half... great.... let's see.... I think this page features, in order of appearance, ndomitus, leeb, ilroy105, rfnordTim, litterRock, heLurker, heDiva, eapetra, ajunmagic, ondapicam, eqal, ita DuPave, KDW, ustinThyme, and ZOO. Enjoy. PAGE 813: "Floppy Ears! From Wammo!" PAGE 814: "Cool, a Dalek bong." 08.17.07 t e r r r o r t o o o n s Certifiably insane "director" Joe Castro brings you a nauseating glimpse into his raging subconscious in this completely inept "slasher" movie. It's 46% credits but that doesn't make the pain any lesser. TERROR TOONS page one: "Whoa! High school's gonna be GREAT!" TERROR TOONS page two: "Head Off! Apply directly to the forehead!" TERROR TOONS page three: "Crap movieus extract mefromus!" 08.15.07 caption gallery # 900 Richard Harris in Cameltoe PAGE 900: "Don't be so hasty to ass, lets just make out for a while first." 08.06.07 goodbye, "turkish star wars"! Here are the last of the Turkish Star Wars screengrabs! They've been speckling the free-form galleries since page #853 and now it's time to say goodbye. This page tells the backstory of Turkish Star Wars, so once you're armed with this information (such as "Hundreds of thousands years had been passed and earh and planets system in space turned into the galaxy system.") you can go back and read those other captions and now they'll make a lot more sense. So anyway, here's an all-Turkish Star Wars page. And to cleanse your mind, there's two new free-form pages over there to the right. Enjoy 'em. PAGE 895: TURKISH STAR WARS: "Did I mention these people were a race of total pussies?" 08.03.07 the muppet show: star wars edition Here's three pages devoted to the legendary Mark Hamill & Friends episode of The Muppet Show. Legendary why? Probably because of Scooter's "Six String Orchestra" number. PAGE ONE: "Good bye, Career. Nice knowing you!" PAGE TWO: "One night of gay love with a robot and it haunts me for life." PAGE THREE: "Okay, Hamill ... if this is the only way I can get cast as an Ewok ...." 07.28.07 project freeform v Here's more pix from a bunch of cappers, sent to meQal who sent 'em to GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board. This was meQal's last time presenting PFF before handing the reigns over to our own Mayor of Capperdom, Gray Zombie, so enjoy it in your best redneck fasion. For extra fun, try the Project Freeform Drinking game as created by Matteus, who documents his harrowing experience within these pages. I forgot who presented which picture, sorry. PAGE ONE: "One more thing to regret on your deathbed." PAGE TWO: "Why Is Mommy Moaning?" PAGE THREE: "As long as she can get her mouth around it, I don't see what the problem is." PAGE FOUR: "She May Look Clean-BUT" PAGE FIVE: "Is WAR PRESSURE making you SMOKE TOO MUCH?" 07.17.07 animation showcase V assignment: miami beach Here's a massive seven page update featuring, I think, four or maybe five programs from the days of GersonK's Inventing-Situational / GlitterRock's Cap-Page-a-Board-a-cal past: Bugs Bunny in the celebrity-look-a-likeable short Slick Hare (presented by Mattteus), The action-packed-o-Dic-lisci-cous Mummies Alive! episode "Kid Scarab" (sent to GlitterRock by JMShearer), the venerabilical-weird-drug-a-mainia-cal Magical Memories (sent to GlitterRock by GlitterRock), and the whole Charlie Brown gang (minus Franklin, natch) in the Apocryphal-black-bar-a-rama-cal morality tale Lucy Must Be Traded, Charlie Brown (presented by Agent Moldy). Sprinkled gently into the mix like Grandma's Gingerbread Seasoning are photo-graphical-manipulational captions by Indomitus, GlitterRock, PrezGAR, The SpaceToast, and daupstart! directed by RUDY G. Animation Showcase V: Page One: The nicest thing I can think to say is: "It'd be good for Harry Potter fan art." Animation Showcase V: Page Two: "I LIKE your ribbed condom." Animation Showcase V: Page Three: "Worst. Gloryhole. Ever." Animation Showcase V: Page Four: "Ah Charlie Brown, will you tell Lucy she has to wear panties with that skirt...." Animation Showcase V: Page Five: "The leukemia isn't going into remission?" Animation Showcase V: Page Six: "It's the Silence of the Lambs, Charlie Brown" Animation Showcase V: Page Se7en: *sigh* "Quit showing off, Snoopy! It's not THAT cute!" 07.06.07 the fonz and the happy days gang in "king for a day" Yikes. The phrase "a caption gallery that feels like a feverish nightmare" is tossed around so much these days that it's starting to lose all meaning. That's why it's kind of nice to have a program this brain-crushingly stupid to remind us. In this animated adventure, The Fonz, Richie, Ralph Malph, and the Fonz's previously unmentioned dog Mr. Cool are abducted by a time-traveler from THE FUTURE named Cupcake. Her first act? To take them to prehistoric times, where Ralph is made Queen of the Stone Age. Wow. PAGE ONE: "See, even the laws of time and space are built around the birth of Jesus." PAGE TWO: "Dude, if I smoked a joint that big, I'd probably think I was traveling through time too." PAGE THREE: "This is no way to live a life." 06.26.07 The Double-D Update! ...Did I mention the two "D"s stood for Dracula and the Daleks? Wow, the two most evil forces in the galaxy together at last! And the rumor around hollywood is that in Dracula vs. The Daleks II: Evolution there'll be a Vampire/Dalek Hyrbid!!! Anyway, the first two pages are Dracula: The Dirty Old Man, part of GlitterRock's "Year of The Dracula, featuring the exciting new monster "Jacketman". It's all pretty horrible in a softy-core-porny kind of way. Then we wrap up with three pages of Death to the Daleks, which as we all know is the last time EVER that the Daleks ever appeared on "Doctor Who" for the rest of the series. In this ripping yarn, new improved companion Sarah-Jane "Kevin" Smith and Worzel Gummidge and a cool muck-man dude and a skeleton bride and some really gauche pool toys encounter Daleks and a kind of proto-Gypsy. Can Worzel love a woman of flesh and blood with his hay and burlap heart? I-WANT-TO-SUCK-YOUR-BLOOD-!!! Dracula: The Dirty Old Man PAGE 843: "This is deeper into J.K. Rowling's private life than I ever, EVER wanted to go." PAGE 844: "Finally, we get to see him be a dirty old man. He's watching 'em do it, right? I mean, he has to be." Death to the Daleks PAGE 845: "Thanks for trying to cover up his boner, nurse. I'll take over from here." PAGE 846: "I WON THE 'HOW-LONG-UN-TIL-THE-DOC-TOR-IS-CAP-TURED' POOL. HIGH FIVE!" PAGE 847: "Tentacle rapists everywhere lost their jobs when the boss decided to let robots do it instead!" 06.15.07 look at your hero now! worzel gummidge ..in which "Doctor Who" star Jon Pertwee plays an undead scarecrow who romances a plush sex-doll, eventually his obsession becoming so great he must become her! He also finds time to teach two young, impressionable British children about sex. That one guy from The Deadly Bees rounds out the cast. PAGE 835: sshhh everybody! he's gonna tell the tale of the Giants again! PAGE 836: Cillian Murphy wasn't as scary in the remake. 06.12.07 CAPPERFEST! Is there any more exciting made-up word in the English language? Once in a while cappers from around the globe... well, part of it, anyway... gather in huge metropolitan jungles to hang around and make snarky comments about stuff. In March of this year a capfest was held to record the now-legendary "Dial Comes to Town". Here's a new caption gallery featuring images from that fateful night captioned at GersonK's Inventing Situations site. Cappers featured in these here pictures: Dante83, GersonK, GizM, Matteus, tinaw, and the wily UnReality. I missed that one, but will be attending the next one... tomorrow! Yeah, Wednesday, June 13! New York City! (get a rope!) 8:00 at Carmine's. You can remember the name of the restaurant by remembering that Janeane Garofalo's character's father in Mystery Men was named Carmine. Carmine the Bowler. Finally, in other Capper-Fest news, I gave "Capper-Fests" it's own catagory in the Index. CAP ON! PAGE 834: NYC CapperFest, March '07- "Cappers are no help at all when someone is attacked by a ferret." 06.11.07 Here's Waxwork, the movie I presented for capping over at GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board back in April. Gremlins mega-star Zach Galligan and his no good friends (80s films staples Deborah Foreman, Dana Ashbrook, and Michelle Johnson) end up at a kooky wax museum run by David "I'll do any movie for fifty bucks and a free lunch" Warner. The wax displays are sort of portals to other dimensions or something, and then the wax figures come alive at the end, or something. Luckily, Zach's uncle John Steed is part of an elite squad of elderly sentient-wax-figure-hating mercinaries. Miles "Ator" O'Keefe and John "Gimli" Rhys-Davies round out the cast. As dense, moronic, and incomprehensible as this movie is, the sequel is even worse... look for that up for capping this month at the board. PAGE 830: "Oh, great. The Living Torso found out where I live." PAGE 831: "It's the high FBI, mannnn." PAGE 832: "honest, I wasn't playing with my thingy" PAGE 833: "Ah if we're going to do it, can we move out of the urine first?" 05.29.07 friday the 13th Here's the first Friday the 13th movie. I missed out on 'em the first time around, but god bless GlitterRock, he's started the cycle all over again- every Friday the 13th we'll cap another one. Finally, this caption gallery won't be so Freddy-centric. PAGE 820: "No good can come from making out in front of Kevin MacDonald." PAGE 821: "Target Practice with Gillian Anderson" PAGE 822: *takes teeth out, puts in glass, heads to the parking lot* PAGE 823: "Wearing this sweater is like having a constant orgasm." 05.18.07 Santo y Blue Demon contra DrοΏ½cula y el Hombre Lobo This movie, from GlitterRock's Year of Dracula, is presented here pretty much in order, unlike most of the galleries here. You'll notice that Dracula and the Hombre Lobo are both killed towards the bottom of page 806 and the last third of this movie is a single wrestling match! PAGE 805: "When Dracula's away, Disco Wolfman likes to kick it in his hot tub." PAGE 806: "You mean the robot could be the Aztec mummy? Radical." PAGE 807: " After a long dry spell, El Santo grew poetic at finally achieving anal penetration of an opponent." 05.11.07 INDOMITUS PRESENTED: the last starfighter PAGE 796: "Rick Springfield is excited. Turd-Man is not." PAGE 797: "Well, you were a bitch to my overlords last night." PAGE 798: "Hey kid, wanna see my cloaca?" 04.30.07 inventing situations-a-rama Should this be in the free-form side or here on the specialty gallery side? I mean, sure, all these caps are from Inventing Situations, but there's no coherent theme... Anyway, ponder that as you read four new pages featuring funktastic captions from Beckett, cambria36, carbonbased, Dante83, darkglasses, d_cat_chopra, GersonK, Gnasche, Heuvos_Y_Papas, KIPPAGE, KotaBunny, Larry, McFrenzy, Mushmouth, Papa, River_Blue, ROBOTCROWT, The_Seer, Sevengraff, Soozcat, Spazz, tinaw, TurkeyVolGuessingMan, TyrannosaurusRex, windsong27, WB, WryBatty, and me, Zee. PAGE 789: "It looks much bigger on your web page." PAGE 790: "Not so much 'funny' as it is 'true' " PAGE 791: "I thought it was Ladies night." PAGE 792: "Ooh...yeah, that's down in there good. That's not your good hand, is it?" 04.27.07 THE CRAFT presented by INDOMITUS Because when you want terror, you go to the director of Dick and Nancy Drew. PAGE 786: "You like the smell of urine? Hop in!" PAGE 787: "My quiche is burning!" PAGE 788: "BUT THE PUMPKINHEAD IS COMING!" 04.21.07 Animation Showcase IV: Citizens on Patrol It's time for another visit to the twisted world of sick, sick animation, featuring W.I.T.C.H. and Digimon, presented by KKDW; Lion King 2: Simba's Pride and Someday You'll Find Her, Charlie Brown, presented by Agent Moldy; The Princess and the Pea Chronicles, presented by meQal; and some of the cartoon shots from Tank Girl, presented by Shadarus. If you don't mind nightmares you should enjoy these pages completely. #774 Animation Showcase IV, page one #775 Animation Showcase IV, page two #776 Animation Showcase IV, page three #777 Animation Showcase IV, page four #778 Animation Showcase IV, page five #779 Animation Showcase IV, page six 04.14.07 PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 04.07.07 "Yummy Yummy" PAGE ONE: Our next song is called "BRAAAAAAAINS!!" PAGE TWO: "Hi kids! We're here to eat your soul! It's fun!" PAGE THREE: "Come on kids, rub your nipples!" 03.31.07 tim burton's BATMAN PAGE 743: "Batman sees you. Batman don't care." PAGE 744: "Master Bruce does so love his post patrol Chalupa." PAGE 745: "This is dreary, even for a Tim Burton movie." PAGE 746: "She let out a scream of shock and terror, the pink substance falling against her cheek." PAGE 747: "Hello, I'm old and I just pooped myself. Could you change me?" May 26, 2009 PrezGAR presented: GROUNDHOG DAY I usually don't like capping comedies but I had so much fun capping this one it gets it's own gallery. Bill Murray stars as a weatherman inexplicably living the same day over and over again. I usually don't like capping comedies but I had so much fun capping this one it gets it's own gallery. Bill Murray stars as a weatherman inexplicably living the same day over and over again. I usually don't like capping comedies but I had so much fun capping this one it gets it's own gallery. Bill Murray stars as a weatherman inexplicably living the same day over and over again. Page 733: "Karmic retribution for the Garfield movies kicking in...... now." Page 734: "THAT'S what you told Scarlet Johansson? That's sick! I mean, you're old enough to be her father!" 03.18.07 the FREDDY FINALE double feature For the past several months I've been presenting all the Freddy movies over at GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board. We just reached the end of the series, not counting Freddy vs. Jason, which Glitter had shown previously during his screenings of all the Jason movies. I may present FvJ in 2009, but for now this is the end of the Freddy line. Here's seven pages devoted to the last two solo freddy flicks, the beyond-terrible Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, and the mearly mediocre Wes Craven's New Nightmare. Welcome to prime time, bitches. #723 Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Page One #724 Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Page Two #725 Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Page Three #726 Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, Page Four #727 Wes Craven's New Nightmare, Page One #728 Wes Craven's New Nightmare, Page Two #729 Wes Craven's New Nightmare, Page Three 03.16.07 PROJECT FREEFORM IV the voyage home PAGE 719: "Can we turn off the camera so I can eat this fucking kid already?" PAGE 720: *makes a fist, aims it between cat's legs* 03.14.07 Scary German Guy's Bitchin'! (aka The Monster Squad) To kick off the "Year of Dracula", GlitterRock presented this childhood fav of mine for our capping pleasure. Upon rewatching it recently I was surprised to find how homophobic the film was, but other than that it was just as I remembered it, dopey music montage and all. Scary German Guy was still bitchin', Fat Kid's name was still Horace, and that kid Rudy didn't really do anything. Oh, and the Mummy was still a pussy. Enjoy the caps. PAGE 710: "That's it air them armpits out " PAGE 711: "Mein Gott, Mother, blood!" PAGE 712: "Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dracula keeps touching me!" PAGE 713: "You fool! Photoshop filters have no effect on me!" 02.21.07 turkey week 2006! (part two of two) <3000inventing1302.jpg"><3000inventing915.jpg"> <3000inventing505.jpg"><3000inventing208.jpg"> As promised, here's the second half of the epic TURKEY WEEK 2006 update. This one is all Inventing Situations, so if you only cap on GlitterRock's page, don't bother scanning the pages for your handle, it ain't there, pal. Well, we've got seventeen pages to get through, so let's cut this intro short and get to it! PAGE 683: The First Spaceship on Venus & The Home Economics Story PAGE 684: Master Ninja 1 & Crash of the Moons PAGE 685: The Beatniks PAGE 686: The Beatniks, page two PAGE 687: Hired! & The Bride of the Monster PAGE 688: The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman PAGE 689: Bloodlust! PAGE 690: Samson vs. The Vampire Woman & The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy PAGE 691: The Horrors of Spider Island PAGE 692: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians PAGE 693: The Amazing Transparent Man PAGE 694: A Date With Your Family PAGE 695: The Beast of Yucca Flats PAGE 696: Hercules Unchained PAGE 697: Hercules Unchained, page two PAGE 698: Track of the Moonbeast PAGE 699:Track of the Moonbeast, page two 02.19.07 turkey week 2006! (part one of two) <3000inventing1104.jpg"><3000inventing1118.jpg"> Here is the first half of our (my) massive Turkey Day update. Every thanksgiving the capping world celebrates Mystery Science Theater 3000 by capping a week's worth of MSTie-themed programming. GlitterRock shows a bunch of episodes of the show, and GersonK shows a bunch of movies & shorts featured on it. The results, as always, are awesome. There'll be many more Inventing Situations pages in a day or two, but today we've got seven pages of GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board (featuring Hellcats, The Amazing Colossal Man, Escape 2000, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies, The Final Sacrifice, and Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders) and four pages of random IS stuff (including Mr. B Natural, Torgo, Coily, Hercules, Reverend Hall, Nuveena, Uncle Jim, Lassie, some Radar Men From the Moon, and more!) PAGE 672: "When your sextoys start smoldering, it's time to slow down, check batteries, and re-lube." PAGE 673: "Mike just realized there aren't any bathrooms aboard the Satellite of Love." PAGE 674: "Aw, dammit. I thought we were doing 'The Fingal Sacrifice'." PAGE 675: "Leatherface forgot his keys again." PAGE 676: "Giant + cocaine = expensive habit" PAGE 677: "During the Weimar period, Charlotte Rae underwent a period of hyperinflation ..." PAGE 678: "Spleen looks healthy. In fact, it looks delicious!" PAGE 679: "Amazing what a Little Jack Daniels will do for an Unruly Child..." PAGE 680: "I should let grandpa know that his bloated swollen nutsack has fallen off .....again." PAGE 681: "When they were feeling especially frisky they'd swap beds." PAGE 682: "Mom? Are you done ironing my codpiece yet?" 02.09.07 JAM Productions in association with Satan The Devil present: page 666 PAGE 666: "ALL HAIL LORD BEELZEBUB!!!" 02.04.07 the final comedown Here's two pages devoted to the Billy Dee "Never Made A Bad Film" Williams epic The Final Comedown that I really enjoyed capping. Special shout-out to CajunMagic for his "Shh! Billy Dee's writing a screenplay." cap, which joins AntiHero's "But you can't take away my gun, cheif!" cap in the "Insanely Funny Captions I Think About To Cheer Me Up At Work" file in my brain. PAGE 653: "You see, people who wear pyjamas out of doors are oppressed, just as your people are…" PAGE 654: "What you want with those Chicken 'n' Waffles, baby? Mac 'n' cheese? Greens? Money's no object! Hell, get both! Just order a SMALL Dr Pepper, okay?" 02.02.07 meQal presented: underdog! PAGE 652: "And here we have the infamous 'Poop-Chute'!" 01.31.07 puppet master VS. demonic toys No introduction necessary. PAGE ONE: "And HERE'S where Corey Haim gave me a hickey!" PAGE TWO: "say what you will but these hand puppets really do help with the childbirthing process" PAGE THREE: "Clowns eating you while you sleep, actual footage." PAGE FOUR: "Ooh, right in the ajna!" 01.22.07 the 1979 sears wishbook <1979six02.jpg"> One of the most monumental capping events of 2006 was The Sears Wishbook for the 1979 Holiday Season. GlitterRock meticulously scanned hundreds of images from this chilling document, and the resulting captions are some of the best ever. These galleries took a long time to put together- mostly because I couldn't stop laughing while I was putting them together. Please enjoy them- responsibly. PAGE 629: "I wish for death. The sweet release of death. What about you, grandma?" PAGE 630: "Perfect for the really ugly kid on your list!" PAGE 631: "KNOCK UP A GREEN CHICK ON DENEB IV. LOSE A TURN" PAGE 632: "It's really kind of offputting to see your child sitting where you just had really nasty sex only 15 minutes before." PAGE 633: "I love you too Woodstock *snaps neck* but I'm hungry" PAGE 634: "Just the thing for your pregnant 6-year-old." PAGE 635: "The monkey that spanks back!" PAGE 636: "The kind you just HATE to take off when you're hubby comes home, demanding anal." PAGE 637: "Brrrraaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnssss, over." 01.21.07 wonder woman vs. gartantua Long Time Capper and Man About Town Gray Zombie regularly presents episodes of Wonder Woman over at GlitterRock's Cap-Page Board, but this is the first one I've devoted an entire gallery to. I just felt that the story of a magical Amazon princess and her love for a well-hung gorilla needed to reach a wider audience. Robert Loggia rounds out the cast. PAGE ONE: "C'mon, Chim-chim! Fling that turd over here!" PAGE TWO: "Can't we have one gallery without gorilla sodomy?" 01.18.07 FOUR NEW SUPER-POWERED PAGES! buffy Here's "Halloween", a.... Halloween-themed episode of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. People buy costumes from a bogus costumes shoppe and wouldn't you know it, they turn into their costumes, just like that mediocre "Treehouse of Terror" episode of Simpsons. You know the Simpsons is in trouble when they're stealing ideas from eight year old episodes of Buffy. But I digress... Here are the pages. PAGE ONE: "DROP YOUR BLOUSE... I MEAN, BOOBS ... I MEAN, WEAPON." PAGE TWO: "The always exciting Librarian Steel Cage Match" PLUS! ENTER: THE GUIDING LIGHT! In one of the lamest cross-overs of all time, Marvel Comics worked with the long running soap opera Guiding Light to create the new superhero.... The, er, Guiding Light. GlitterRock was insane enough to provide her debut episode for us to cap, and here are the results: PAGE ONE: "Looks like she caught herself a Busey." PAGE TWO: "The CW actually produced their wacky Ed Gein sitcom!" 01.10.07 LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING Here's the final installment in the epic fantasy trilogy. Stuff happens, I think there were some battles, but mostly it was walking, hiding, and talking. And CGI. And lots of close-ups of people looking at things. Enjoy! PAGE 611: " Sloth love Chunk but HATE MIKEY!!!" PAGE 612: "Check out my new Gondorian Butt Plunderer!" PAGE 613: Elrond tells the "I was there the day the strength of men failed" story every time he's had a few beers. PAGE 614: "Mister Frodo, we've survived long enough for me to make yet another of the idiotic, overly sentimental speeches I always seem to make at the end of these movies." PAGE 615: "Aragorn, your coronation is--oh hey, a hobbit orgy! Can I watch too?" 01.08.07 THE MUPPET X-MAS CAROL Presented by our good buddy PrezGAR (aka Yukon GARnelius), this was the first post-Jim Henson Muppet Feature. It's a pretty good movie, but not a great Muppet movie, as most of the focus is on Michael Caine and a bunch of puppets we've never seen before. It also didn't help that they picked such an oft-told story. But whatever, it was fun to cap and here's three pages of the results: PAGE ONE: "Ooo, I'm so afraid. What're you going to do, be poor at me?" PAGE TWO: "Tickle your ass with a feather, Miss Piggy?" PAGE THREE: "Michael Caine had his underwear on his head for the entire ceremony." Oh, and I also updated the INDEX page today. 01.04.07 HIP HOP HOMEROOM Wow, the second update in 24 hours. I couldn't sleep. I felt a need. A need to warn the people out there on the intraweb.... about HIP HOP HOMEROOM. I'm sure the people who made this began with good intentions. They just wanted to teach the kids about math. Simple, innocent math. But then things started getting weird. They wanted to appeal to kids, so they dressed their pre-teen cast in the hottest slutty fashions. Then they set the whole thing to music and had the kids repeatedly thrust their asses at the camera. When they were done, they realized that, aside the fact that they were probably going to prison on kiddie porn charges, that no one would ever pay to see this piece of shit. So they roped LazyTown's Julianna Rose Mauriello into hosting, dressed her as close to Stephanie as they could without being sued, clumsily edited her into this and slapped some crappy CGI onto the whole deal. We capped it. We had to. We all felt dirty and had to shower repeatedly, but we capped it. Now it's up to you to read these two pages, IF YOU DARE. PAGE 603: "These images are taking me to dark places within myself. Places I never wanted to see, or even know about." PAGE 604: "I no longer fear Hell. For I have seen Hip Hop Homeroom." 01.03.07 pink floyd: the wall Here's two pages of the ultra-surreal musical movie "Pink Floyd The Wall", which m.i.a. capper meQal presented over at GlitterRock's site. To make it even more surreal, I've made no effort to put the 'grabs in any kind of order. Enjoy! PAGE 601: David Bowie in "Bukkake Glam Rockers III". PAGE 602: The lad fancies himself an accountant! Absolute rubbish! 01.01.07 vintage ads HAPPY NEW YEAR! To celebrate the advent of 2007, here's one of the funniest capping sessions of 2006: capper jackrouter's presentation of vintage advertising over at GlitterRock's cap-page board, a creepy look at print ads from the days of yore. There's more sexism, creepy-ass kids, and broken promises in these six pages than in your average Southern trailer park. I hope you enjoy them. PAGE 594: "Faghags, or clueless? You make the call!" PAGE 595: "Wow! This is the biggest thrill of my life! Kill me!" PAGE 596: "Gunther, Inga, Hans, Greta, READY FOR ACTION!" PAGE 597: "We've all be lobotimized, and it's fun!" PAGE 598: "Coffee so good your eyebrows'll jump straight off your face!" PAGE 599: "Eating your own barf, not just for dogs anymore." 12.30.06 Indomitus presented: return to oz Yeesh! Little Fairuza Balk stars in this creepy, beyond-disappointing adapatation of the "Oz" books. Not quite a sequel to Wizard of Oz but advertised as one, hardly anyone likes this jug of nightmare fuel. So, of course, we had to cap it. PAGE ONE: "So what classic rock album sync's up with this piece of crap?" PAGE TWO: "Pleased to meet you. Maybe we can ask the Wizard to give a brain to the DIRECTOR, too!" 12.22.06 jason vs. leatherface issue # 3 PAGE ONE: "BAD Leatherface! NO BARK!" PAGE TWO: "Mr. Leatherface.... are you trying to seduce me?" PAGE THREE: "..but first Jason smear BUTTER all over it!" PAGE FOUR: "Time for Jason to go to piano recital." 12.21.06 "What we have here? Looky like we got us some yankee trouble makers!" FOUR NEW PAGES! Scooby Doo and The Monster of Mexico Scooby and the gang head south of the border to catch el Chupacabra. I don't want to give too much away, but expect the monster to be fake and Scooby and Shaggy to eat a lot. PAGE 579: "Choo choo! All aboard the man-train!" back to the future! "It's your caps, Marty! We've got to do something about your caps!" PAGE 580: "Doc heroically cartwheels to safety!" PAGE 581: "That man smokes some big-ass roaches!" PAGE 582: "A white Canadian inventing rock-and-roll. This is worse than Song of the South." 12.10.06 four new pages! vegas in space When I was a young lad I didn't have many plans on the weekends, so my evenings were spent watching "MonsterVision" and "100% Weird" on TNT and "USA Up All Night" on USA. I would highlight which films I wanted to see in the TV guide, and carefully arrange an array of snacks around me as I would settle in for six to eight hours of bizarre films. This one, Vegas in Space, was one of the weirder films. I think I first saw this in the "third movie" slot on "USA UP All Night", when Gilbert Gottfried or Rhonda Shear's hosting would disappear and the 1-800 psychic and phone sex ads got longer and longer. Imagine, if you will, falling asleep while watching this and the dreams that awaited you there. I had to present this film at GlitterRock's site, to share those dreams with everyone. PAGE 572: VEGAS IN SPACE, page one PAGE 573: VEGAS IN SPACE, page two suspiria I also presented this film over at GlitterRock's site. It's Dario Argento's best-known film in the states, which boggles my mind since, other than the brilliant first twenty minutes and a later scene in which a blind guy gets it, it's pretty damn dull. Beautifully photographed, but dull. I'd much rather watch Argento's Deep Red, or Tenebrae, or Phenomena, but whatever. I also presented the "making of" documentary on Suspiria, which, ironically enough, produced better captions than the movie itself. Enjoy. PAGE 574: SUSPIRIA PAGE 575: THE MAKING OF SUSPIRIA 12.07.06 project freeform III Three more pages of capper-selected pictures, presented by GlitterRock and meqal! PAGE 569: "The Concert for Alderaan" PAGE 570: "Frog and Toad Have a Deformed Lovechild" PAGE 571: "All those mice in a blender don't have to go to waste!" 11.26.06 four pages three programs one hangover. PAGE 560: Buffy vs. Reptile Boy Buffy and the Gang enter the wacky world of fraternities and human sacrifices to giant lizard-monster. I think this script was originally written for "The Facts of Life" but Joss Whedon did a hasty rewrite the night before filming began. PAGE 561: Doctor Who: Carnival of Monsters PAGE 562: Doctor Who: Carnival of Monsters, page 2 I'm not sure what's going on here, apparently The Doctor and his scrappy sidekick Jo run afoul of a gang of evil circus clowns, and a giant lizard-monster appears at the end.... Hey, just like in today's buffy update! Let's see if a giant lizard thing appears in... PAGE 563: Scream 3 Let's see, giant lizard thing, giant lizard thing... will this do? So there's today's theme, giant lizards. Oh, Scream 3 also features Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Jenny McCarthy, Lance Henrickson, Parker Posey, Emily Mortimer, Patrick Dempsey, Roger Corman, Jay, and Silent Bob, but really, it's all about killer lizard monster things. Enjoy. 11.16.06 BACHELOR PARTY PAGE ONE: Tom Hanks about to make out with Ralph Machio. Hm. Let's see if it's raining fire yet... PAGE TWO: *Adrian Zmed and Tom Hanks swap cum* PAGE THREE: Peaches was a hooker? No shit?! 11.01.06 a nightmare on elm street 5: a movie we all thought was pretty mediocre at the time, but then part 6 came out and this one looked like friggin' Citizen Kane. (they later shortened the subtitle to "The Dream Child"). PAGE ONE: "If They Mated: David Bowie and Marcia Wallace" PAGE TWO: "Freddy Krueger IS Kurt Cobain in 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'!" 10.31.06 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! Here's an all-scary themed "best of" gallery! It will SCARE THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!!!!* *zee's caption galleries not responsible for shitty pants 10.20.06 3 new specialty galleries! First up, Enapov presented "Teenagers from Outer Space" over at GlitterRock's site, so here's a gallery devoted to that. It's fun to see how many anorexic celebrities the cappers came up with to describe the various skeletons seen in this film (However, I have the sneaking suspicion that the film-makers just bought ONE skeleton and used it over and over again. Hmmm...). PAGE 537 Then we've got a page devoted to the heart-stopping "Doctor Who" adventure "Time and the Rani". It's about time and it's love for a free-spirited Rani. After this Who gallery, I decided to add a Who catagory to the "Index" page that I hope people are using. Anywho, (get it? AnyWHO?) enjoy this page, which documents what looks like a not very pleasant bit of "entertainment" to sit through. PAGE 538 Finally, here's a gallery taken straight from the files of GersonK's Inventing Situations page. It's an informative film strip about the various pitfalls of sharing things with other people. Remember: Don't trust other people, not even the president! This page features the wit of YibbleGuy, ROBOTCROWT, evetsggod, MSTie, Unreality, and me, Zee (do Caixao). Slurp, slurp! PAGE 539 10.13.06 INVENTING SITUATIONS A GO-GO You know, some people complain that this site features too much of Glitter Rock's Cap-Page Board Caps and that GersonK's Inventing Situations Caps get the shaft. Well, okay, no people have said that, but I did have a dream last night in which Chuck Berry came to me and told me to create five all-Inventing Situations pages. He also urinated on me, secretly video taped people urinating, and paid a prostitute to hold his penis while he urinated. And when I awoke, covered in what I hope was sweat, I instantly went to work on these five pages featuring captions by GersonK, McFrenzy, freezer2, windsong27, ROBOTCROWT, cambria36, wd40, WryBatty, carbonbased, YibbleGuy, BurkeDevlin, rickubis, Snuffleupagus, Stiggo629, KIPPAGE, evetsggod, d_cat_chopra, Beckett. flowbear, MSTie, PumaManRedux, Larry, E_the_E, GhoulystPar, Mushmouth, WEIRD_1, Bob, Chuckles_McClure, and me, Zee. Enjoy their public domainy goodness. PAGE 527 PAGE 528 PAGE 529 PAGE 530 PAGE 531 10.08.06 doctor who: love & monsters I haven't seen this David Tennant-era episode of Doctor Who, or any David Tennant episode of Doctor Who. I've only seen still photos of David Tennant over at Glitter Rock's Cap-Page Board. But that was enough. I don't think I want to see David Tennant moving, his rubbery face contorting into sub-Ernest P. Worrall "comic" expressions. I do, however, want to see Billie Piper moving, perhaps on stage, pulling open her black top to reveal a pink bra with just a hint of nipple peeking over the top. But that's neither here nor there, as David Tennant and Bill E. Piper hardly even appear in this episode. There is, however, a scrawny Sting/Paul Bettany/Gordon Ramsey PUMAT and a monster that makes Fat Bastard look like Nicole Ritchie. Enjoy. PAGE 524: "Some people need deoderant, he needs disinfectant." PAGE 525: "Hi! I'm Bobo, that's Lil' Debbull! We're not allowed in the house!" PAGE 526: "Don't worry, little boy--I'll help you find your brothers Crackle and Pop." 10.05.06 Secrets of Star Wars.... Revealed! The Making of Star Wars: Page One The Making of Star Wars: Page Two 09.30.06 "Sleepless in Lazy Town" page one: "A 6 year old with satin sheets just seems very unwholesome." page two: "I have such a wonderful bratwurst. I just love stroking it. I could rub it up and down like this all day and night..." page three: "Damn that Robbie! Shoved this thing up my keyster with NO LUBE...AGAIN!" 09.27.06 holy katz! Here are five pages devoted to things I presented for capping over at GlitterRock's page. They both feature all "star" casts and goofy monsters, and they'll all make your brain swell up as you watch them! First up, Troll, from the director of Friday the 13th part VII: The New Blood. It's the touching story of a dwarf in a rubber costume who uses a magic ring to appear as a tiny blonde girl. He then goes around an apartment building, turning it's denizens into parts of his sick troll forrest world thingee. Featuring United States Congressman Sonny Bono, Michael Moriarty, Phil Fondacaro, Noah Hathaway, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Brad Hall, June and Anne Lockhart, Gary Sandy, and Jenny Beck. Troll, page one: "Ok, Jenny, now smile at the camera and wave bye-bye to your career." Troll, page two: "Feel the wrath of my middle-aged, balding, tiny man rage!" Troll, page three: "Want a hit off my magic hash pipe?" Then enter the twisted, upside-down world of Al Adamson's Dracula vs. Frankstein. Begun as a biker flick, Adamson changed his mind in mid-filming and made it into a monster movie, in which decrepit J. Carrol Naish is a retired Dr. Frankenstein running a beach-front spookhouse. A Dracula with an afro shows up and convinces him to make a lumpy-faced monster. These still photos don't even begin to sum up the hallucinatory and surreal qualities of this movie, which I first saw at an all-night, triple-feature "versus" marathon in an old movie house New Jersey. Also featuring Regina "director's wife" Carrol, Angelo Rossitto, Lon Chany, Jr, Russ Tamblyn ("Twin Peaks"), Forrest J. Ackerman, Greydon Clark (director of "Angel's Revenve" and "Final Justice"), and, of course, Zandor Vorkov as Dracula. Dracula vs. Frankenstein, page one: "Heyyy! What it is, jive turkeys? Soul! Collard greens!" Dracula vs. Frankenstein, page two: "FIRE BAAAAD!!!... Blowjob gooooooood..." 09.13.06 PROJECT FREEFORM 2 "Project Freeform" is the award-winning program where cappers can send in pictures to GlitterRock and meQal for us to caption. Simple really, the only twist being the cappers have access to disgusting, disgusting pictures. Think "big, wrinkly asses". You'br been warned. PAGE 505: "Those guys in the Storm Trooper costumes regard this as having sex." PAGE 506: "I usually panic and piss inbetween them" PAGE 507: "like who hasn't groped Jesus!" 08.17.06 Rowdy Roddy Buffy first up... THEY LIVE Thanks to ACTION librarian and all-around ace capper Gleeb, we got to caption my favorite non-Kurt-Russell-starring John Carpenter flick! It's the one where Rowdy Roddy Piper (who here tunes the Rowdyness down to about a 6) finds a box of magic sunglasses and discovers the planet is run by Republicans from Outer Space!!! PAGE ONE: "I am here to ponder and kick ass, and I'm all out of brain cells." PAGE TWO: "Zombie Kirsty Alley, how may I direct your call?" our next presentation is... BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Inca Mummy Girl A delightful episode of my favorite vampire slaying-related television program in which our hapless sidekicking chum Xander tries to have sex with a centuries old mummy. Meanwhile, the gang goes to a costume party, and Seth Green makes his first appearance as werewolf Oz! Chew every bite 32 times! PAGE ONE: "What better way is there to cast a life-sucking mummy than by casting Sarah Silverman in the role." PAGE TWO:  "Thumbs up on the gay porn goatee, Mr. Green!" 08.08.06 Star Wars! You want Star Wars pages? We've got great heaping gobs of Star Wars pages! Ten, in fact! First up... YODA PAGE 483 All the Yoda caps from Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Then, nine pages of Return of the Jedi captions! PAGE 484: "his head looks like an androgenous crotch" PAGE 485: "All the lousy jobs in the galaxy and I get to pull out Jabbas butt plug twice a day!" PAGE 486: "Sure, he may shit out of that hole, but that doesn't mean it can't also produce beautiful music." PAGE 487: "She makes out with her own brother and all I get is a masturbating Wookie." PAGE 488: "Luke suddenly realized he had uttered the phrase "power converters" for the last time." PAGE 489: "Aw shoot, I missed. I meant to shoot Threepio in order to shut him up." PAGE 490: "No one saw anything, sir, but ... we're pretty sure the neighbor's son Tommy hit the Death Star with a baseball." PAGE 491: "We've located an obvious and fairly stupid design flaw " PAGE 492: "Luke...help me...take...these pants off..." 08.03.06 freddy! The first specialty gallery since my hiatis! A look at the second best Freddy sequel, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, from the director of Cutthroat Island and The Adventures of Ford Fairlane! This is the one with the dog pissing fire on Freddy's grave, need I say more? PAGE 479: "this is as far into the car my hair will allow" PAGE 480: "Freddy just gets that sparkle in his eye when he hears the word, manicure." 06.10.06 The Miss Roberta Episode PAGE ONE page two 06.06.06 Celebrate the devil's day with two pages devoted to making fun of a movie I fucking loathe: Return of the Living Dead Part 2!! PAGE 469 PAGE 470 06.02.06 STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK RED! HOT! INCEST ACTION! PAGE I PAGE II PAGE III PAGE IV 05.28.06 Pussy. That's what I love. Here's two pages of ridiculous Superfriends caps, in which our gang is doppled into a Lord of the Rings rip-off. PAGE 457 PAGE 458 In the words of the immortal Jerry Lewis, "It'll make ya shit." 05.20.06 ACTION LIBRARIAN & JAMES T. KIRK Both are idolized by children. Both keep the universe safe. Both have an overwhelming addiction to pornography. and both are here today at Zee's Caption Galleries! PAGE 451: First up is a horrifying episode of Star Trek, captioned within an inch of it's smarmy life by GlitterRock, Sharadus, TheDiva, Dita DuPave, Indomitus, eber3, ChaosWolf1982, zephyr, DiscoBoy, PrezGAR, gleeb, echostation, Nyssa23, Cyberbeast, daupstart, jackrouters, and me, Zee. PAGE 452: Then it's another bewildering adventure of the ubiquitous ACTION LIBRARIAN, guest starring the Elusive Robert Denby. I don't know quite what's going on in this one, but planes are profoundly involved and it's been thoroughly capped by TyrannosaurusRex, SistaLoveBone, NurseNoir, Shanky, Beckett, windsong27, GersonK, Mushmouth, carbonbased, and me, Zeeeee. It'll knock the Dewey right out of your Decimal system. 05.16.06 It's a tribute to cartoons with our third Animation Spotlight! This time featuring Charlie Brown, Monsters Inc., Magical Memories, Sonic Underground, Aeon Flux, and a cameo by Beavis and Butthead! page 447 page 448 page 449 page 450 05.10.06 Citizen Kane... Gone With The Wind... Schindler's List... and now... The Garbage Pail Kids Movie page one page two page three page four 05.02.06 Because one hit is never enough! REEFER MADNESS: THE MUSICAL PAGE TWO plus... William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, and Jon Pertwee in: PAGE ONE PAGE TWO PAGE THREE 05.01.06 caption gallery # 420: meQal presented: Reefer Madness the Musical starring TheDiva, Shadarus, Mattteus, tinaw, Indomitus, Dita DuPave, gleeb, ChaosWolf1982, LauraPowers85, YibbleGuy, Cyberbeast, Gray Zombie, Diana Luna, wd40, and me, Zee! 04.27.06 Yes... I believe. I believe in death. I believe in disease, I believe in... injustice and inhumanity... and torture and anger and hate. I believe in murder. I believe in pain. I believe in cruelty and infidelity! ...I believe in slime and stink and in every crawling, putrid thing, every possible ugliness and corruption, you son of a bitch! I believe ...in The Star Wars Holiday Special. PAGE ONE: In the beginning... there was lumpy page two: Mark Hamill IS Clara Bow PAGE THREE: The Two Things Star Wars does best: Bea Arthur and merchandising page four: The Animated Adventures of Boba Fett PAGE FIVE: "I choose you, Chewey. I'll finally get the big boning I've always desired." page six: The End... of sanity 04.18.06 Three new caption galleries spotlighting what Jack Perkins might call "some of the best TV has to offer." First we have PAGE 412, a gallery of what is the capping equivalent of a moldy turkey leg: MST3K Turkey Day Leftovers! A page full of previously uncapped images from Robot Holocaust, Catalina Caper, The Beatniks, Mitchell, The Incredible Melting Man, Revenge of the Creature, Time Chasers, and Werewolf! Then we move on to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer portion of our challenge, PAGE 413, a whole page with caps from the lackluster episode "Some Assembly Required". In it you'll hear such ribtickling moneymakers as "Now, I'm pretty sure just fondling your breasts won't make me lose my soul..." (TheDiva) and "*bounce* *bounce* *bounce* *bounce* bounce* *bounce* *bounce* *jiggle* *bounce* *bounce* *bounce* " (WaffleKing). And finally, we come to a show that's nestled in the hearts of all cappers everywhere, Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl, the show that Leonard Maltin himself called "fistulous" (or not). This is the infamous Glitter Rock episode which we capped in honor of cap-page honcho and Billie Piper-enthusiast GlitterRock's birthday, and you can read all about it in PAGE 414! 04.15.06 a nightmare on elm street 3: the dream warriors PAGE ONE PAGE TWO PAGE THREE 04.10.06 prepare to die disneyland resort 50... presented by shadarus PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 04.04.06 muppets from space PrezGAR is presenting all of the Muppet feature films over at GlitterRock's site, so it was only a matter of time until he got to Muppets From Space, one of the lamer ones. Sure, it's not as bad as, say, Muppets Take Manhattan, but after the pretty good Muppet Treasure Island it's a pretty damn big letdown. It starts out good but as it goes on it gets worse and worse, spending far too much time with Jeffrey Tambor's character and climaxing in a terrible scene where a tribe of Gonzo aliens come to Earth to annoy everyone. You'd think Gonzo would ask about his parents, but no, he's okay being an orphan. At least the flick had plenty of Rizzo. PAGE 398 03.28.06 P I N G U PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 03.27.06 Throughout history, as long as man has believed in God, there has been sign after sign that He does not exist: The Crusades, the Slave Trade, the Holocaust... And now THIS. Do you dare view this gallery, which contains some of the most horrifying images you'll ever see? Step wisely- Mattteus, LauraPowers85, RodRocket, Cyberbeast, TheDiva, da upstart, GlitterRock, gleeb, Shadarus, meQal, JMShearer, Dita DuPave, Indomitus, The Space Toast, and me, Zeeeee, all went blind while writing these captions... Betty la Feya y La Bestia 03.24.06 star wars: episode IV: a new hope Really, must I say more? Here's four pages devoted to the REAL first Star Wars movie. And when you're done checking out my pages, check out Indomitus' STAR WARS pages at his groovy caption gallery! May the force be with you, knuckleheads. PAGE 386 PAGE 387 PAGE 388 PAGE 389 03.18.06 you know... for kids. If those last couple of scary horror galleries frightened you too much, here's three pages of kid's stuff... that turn out to be even scarier. There's Muppet Treasure Island (presented by PrezGAR), A Charlie Brown Valentine (presented by AgentMoldy), The Berenstain Bears and Eight Little Monsters (sent to Glitter by TheLurker), and a tiny amount of other stuff. Enjoy the nightmares, suckers. 381: Muppet Treasure Island 382: Toons, page 1 383: Toons, page 2 03.17.06 The direct-to-video cheap horror crapfest continues from yesterday with Dracula II: Ascension, the horrid sequel to the horrid Dracula 2000. It's really bad, but I guess if it wasn't the captions wouldn't have been so funny. PAGE 380: Dracula II: Ascension 03.16.06 Don't be scared! It's just presented by daupstart! PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 03.09.06 144b December 21, 1963 - February 20, 2006 On February 20, 2006, longtime capper and all around good guy Bert Tilley, aka 144b passed away from congestive heart failure. In his memory, I present this all-144b page. I wish I had more of his captions saved, as this is just a small sampling of his twisted wit. You know... It's a strange day when I read the phrase "Geesh, buddy?! Did you have to vomit in the water fountain?!" and get teary eyed. Farewell, Bert. You were enjoyed. The 144b page 03.07.06 the devil's rejects PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 03.06.06 Imagine my surprise on Saturday night when I went to Inventing Situations and it had been transformed into Caption This! for the- and I'm not making this up- "23rd Annual Caption This! Nite Shift Reunion". Gerson showed a bunch of crazy movie trailers and some whole movies. Unfortunately I wasn't able to save a lot of the captions, but I was able to squeeze out three pages starring AgentQ, KINGDINOSAUR, Jazzsoda, GersonK, LauraPowers, keogh, E_B_A, HanoverF, Hippie, joe678, Seltaeb, Moatas, Reynard_T_Fox, GuloGulo, Generik, and me, Zee! PAGE 365: "The Magic Sword" and "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla" PAGE 366: "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T" PAGE 367: "Francis The Talking Mule" and some Yeti movie- in widescreen! 03.03.06 thanks to meQal, king of the rednecks Four Fantastic Pages of Fantastic Four PAGE I PAGE II PAGE III PAGE IV 02.23.06 kirk vs. buffy Here's three new caption galleries that give new meaning to the word "Dork." page 349: an all STAR TREK page page 350: another all-STAR TREK page page 351: an all-BUFFY page 02.20.06 star wars :'rhoids If you thought the prequels had all the terrible non-entertainment the Star Wars universe had to offer, think again. Here's the Star Wars "Droids" cartoon in all it's homoerotic glory. page I page II page III 02.14.06 Happy Valentine's Day! To celebrate, here's four pages of kissably sweet Son of Artpig caps, starring me, Zee, as The Son of Artpig. And as an added heart-shaped bonus, a page of screengrabs too filthy to be on Glitter Rock's site! A warning: Here there be gaping assholes. page one page TWO page three page FOUR red-hot porch-swing-worthy SON OF ARTPIG screengrabs 02.09.06 PrezGAR presented the muppets take manhattan page one page two 02.01.06 Three all new theme pages! First up is another all-Inventing Situations gallery that spotlights the nightmarish short film The Relaxed Wife. I'm not sure why it's called that, since there don't seem to be any women in it. Then there's two pages devoted to that childhood baseball classic The Sandlot, which was presented by ArchHallJr. You know, if you told me ten years ago that I'd be up at four in the morning creating website pages devoted to The Sandlot I would have told you you were batshit insane. Sandlot, page 1 Sandlot, page 2 01.23.06 holy crap! jason vs. leatherface page ONE page two page THREE page four page FIVE page six page SEVEN 01.19.06 Rudolf the red-nosed capper/had a very twisted brain/and when he wrote his captions/they all found him quite insane/ page 297 01.17.06 It's always special when there's an all-Inventing Situations specialty gallery, and today we've got TWO! First up is a world's fair of some sort, starring Matteus, Hinermad, cambria36, freezer2, Agent Moldy, TyranosaurisRex, Wry Batty, and me, Zee. Then there's the mediocre adventures of Dick Tracey, starring mamasays, wd40, Mushmouth, KIPPAGE, jack_routers, SassyPants, and me, Zee. Two words of advice: En Joy! 01.16.06 the Laziest Town PAGE ONE PAGE TWO 01.09.06 Ozarr, The Mighty! Beware of the Giants! What Happened in the Wax Museum? The Man in the Sky! Footsteps at Midnight! 01.07.06 Ewoks. Maybe you hate them. Maybe you like them. Maybe you're completely indifferent to them. At any rate, here's two pages packed tight with saccharine Ewok goodness. page 276 page 277 01.04.06 page 273: Sure, Christmas is over, but a guy dressed like Santa killing people is funny all year! 01.02.06 a nightmare on elm street 2 freddy's revenge Woah, this one's a stinker. Talentless director (and close personal friend of New Line Cinema president Bob Shaye) Jack Sholder was too busy inserting gay subtext into his horror movie that he forgot little things like "being scary" or "continuity", and as a result all the following Freddy movies ignore this one. The plot concerns an unappealing boy named Jessie and his efforts to prevent Mr. Krueger from entering his body. Clu Gullagher plays Jessie's befuddled dad and Marshall Bell rounds out the cast as the gay gym teacher who frequents S&M leather bars in this gay, gay movie. Really, this movie is so flamboyant that Terrence McNally asked it to tone it down a little. Jack Sholder went on to make many more awful movies, including the unbearable Wishmaster 2. page one page TWO page three 12.31.05 animation mania! You like cartoons? Whimsical flights of fancy and colorful fantasies and the like? Well, you won't after sampling these pages of sick, twisted shit from Glitter Rock's site. There's Aeon Flux (presented by Indomitus), Alice in Wonderland (presented by meQal), and There's No Time For Love, Charlie Brown (presented by AgentMoldy). Okay, Charlie Brown isn't sick or twisted, but the other two more than make up for it. PAGE ONE page two PAGE THREE page four 12.22.05 revenge of the sith wasn't a very good movie. but we capped it anyway. page one page two page thre 12.20.05 Y O D A Sorry, Yoda, your request to become a real boy has been rejected. In fact, we're busting you down from puppet to CGI character. Bad news for you, but good news for anyone who ever wanted to see Yoda share the screen with Jimmy Smits. caption gallery # 254. 12.18.05 Torn bloody and screaming from the loins of GersonK's Inventing Situations site are more pages so self-referencial you'd think they'd implode under the strain. First is a second page of caps from 2002 CapFest in Seattle. Then there's our 250th page, detailing the capper get-together in NYC in October 2005 (which was attended by Daleman, Generik & The Lovely Mrs. Generik, GersonK, GizM, MSTzilla, Unreality, and me, Zee). 12.14.05 Take a lesson from echosleigh-tion, Beckett-Claus, HoorayForSant_E_the_E_Claus, McFrenzy, freezer2, Dante83, and Boobadoo as they attend the prestigious Hamburger Univerity! 12.13.05 harry potter & the prisoner of azkaban page I page II page III 12.11.05 the great muppet caper thanks to PrezGAR we get our second helping of Muppet madness in what I consider to be the perfect Muppet movie. Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo travel to England to find out who stole Diana Riggs' jewel necklace. I don't want to give anything away, but Charles Grodin stole it. Here's the cappers that capped the caper: PAGE 240. 12.06.05 turkey day 2005: part one- GersonK's Inventing Situations page one: Hercules page two: Miscellaneous page three: City Limits, The Magic Sword, & more page four: Track of the Moonbeast & more part two- Glitter Rock's Cap-Page Board page one: in the theater page two: still in the theater page three:not out of the theater yet page four: out of the theater page five: out of the theater some more 12.03.05 killer kumshots from outer space gallery # 226 11.23.05 Lately people, mostly so-called "liberal" cry-babies, have complained about the lack of positive role models for young girls in my galleries. As a humble retort I submit to you: an all BRATZ gallery. Read 'em and weep! 11.22.05 page 217: seattle capfest Here are thirty or so captions from the capper get-together from way back in 2002, as presented on GersonK's site. 11.15.05 clooooone waaaaars! Obi Wan's Penis Mace Windu's Penis Yoda's Penis 11.15.05 If you thought Stephen King was scary, wait till you see DRACULA EXOTICA! Children not allowed. 11.14.05 For the merry month of October Glitter Rock presented four Stephen King movies. The first, The Shining, has already been well documented in these pages. I decided to put the other three into a gallery together because, well, I'm lazy. The phenomenally unentertaining Carrie is Brian "Pretentious" DePalma's shitty movie starring Sissy Spacek as a telekinetic retard. Pet Semetary {sic} is the dull tale of a cemetery that can bring back the dead... for a price. A dull price. And Maximum Overdrive is the abomination that King directed himself. It's also not very good. In fact, most movies based on Stephen King stories suck. Enjoy the galleries. page 205 page 206 page 207 11.09.05 a salute to Caption This! Back when I did the 100th gallery I went back through the previous 99 pages and pulled out all the pot jokes for our first "best of" gallery. For the 200th gallery I decided to do something a little more dignified. Submitted for your approval are 45 old school Caption This! captions, pulled straight from the old Alamama Roscoe and Ding Dong Phelps pages and lovingly slapped together, spread over two pages and containing the phrase "Ponsdomenech this!" I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed putting them together. caption this page one caption this page two 11.04.05 the killer compilation page one page two page three 11.03.05 Here's a first for zee's caption galleries: An all-DR. WHO gallery! And a two-page one, at that! There were so many goofy-ass aliens that I couldn't pass these up. You'll never look at pickles in a non-sexual way again! page one page two 11.02.05 Among the many Halloween treats at Glitter Rock's site were four Stephen King movies. Here's the first one, screengrabbed by yours truly. It's The Shining, Stanley Kubrick's most terrifying movie (not counting the beyond-horrific Barry Lyndon). page one page two 10.23.05 Star Wars: Episode II: The Destruction of Jared-Syn *sigh* page 170 page 171 page 172 page173 page 174 10.19.05 Y-Y-Y-Y-YODA! Funny, it would be, thought I, to collect all the "yoda syntax" captions from GlitterRock's recent showing of Attack of the Clones, and what, you know? Funny, it was. Check them out HERE in the first of many Star Wars Episode II galleries! 10.17.05 Snappy Anwers to Stupid Buffy Screengrabs! page one page two 10.08.05 meQal presented page one page two page three, in which The Hulk actually makes an appearance. 09.23.05 a nightmare on elm street page one page two page three page four 09.22.05 caption gallery # 143: Da Upstart presented another one of my fav movies over at GlitterRock's site, Big Trouble in Little China. We better run. Run into the mystic night. Run until they take us away. Take us away. Take us away. We got Big Trouble. In Little China. 09.02.05 Recently, on Glitter Rock's site, da capper known as Da Upstart presented a bizarre show starring everyone's favorite superhero, Japanese Spider-Man